Friends

In mid nineties and till about 20 years back, the general perception was that a person with more kids is better placed than those who have few kids. The reputation of a person with many sons was highest in the society. The Second perception was that a person with more daughters or all daughters and no son is a big failure. The society used to treat such persons poorly and they themselves used to feel very weak in every sense. They did not have any important say in the business, society, family issues or any other matter. These two perceptions forced the people of immediate past generation to have more children and at least one son. In fact these are some of the social reasons for sudden jump in Indian population in past. Of course now this is changed drastically. I noticed several times that a person with only daughters was always under pressure to adopt some one as son irrespective of his eligibility. Mainly the purpose was to force such parents to make themselves further poor by giving the properties to such person. Another thing I noticed about such parents was lack of self confidence in them while dealings with any issue or even building properties and all. The feeling they used to have was that since they don't have son, who would need the properties. Most of the cases they either ended with no material properties or even if they had , the horizontal generations taking away from the daughters. The daughters were always groomed as outsiders and hence no interference in the safe guarding the parents. On the other side parents with many son used to feel elevated in every sense of life. They used to feel that whatever decision they take is the best for family and society. Their stature in society was at the top irrespective of other parameters. Such persons were the ultimate decision makers for the caste, family, and society as a whole. I noticed arrogance in attitude and over confidence in such people. They did not care for time and money as they did not have daughters and as per them the sons were minting machines. Such people mostly ended with depression due to failure of most of the family members in career, family disputes and ultimately shattering of their dreams etc.

The situation is fast changing but still in many parts of the country people give more respect to the parents who have Son then those with only daughters. Those with no issue are treated more differently. I believe a person should be judged from his achievements and attitudes and not on the basis of the achievements beyond his control.

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Friends

I was out of Ahmedabad for almost 5 days. My mother in law aged 78 yrs has expired on 25th May, 09 after a short period of illness. May god place the soul in peace and rest. She was a very bold lady grew from a small village and managed the family of 7 children meticulously in a very limited source of income. It is very rare to find such people around the world who can live with self respect and pride through out the life.

After elections, the process of forming new government is now over and wish that this would take the country to new heights. But it is equally painful to have high expectations from the politicians. Since the new government is more stable in numbers, it seems they would at least have no disturbances from the allies.

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Mumbai-Land of Opportunities

Friends

This evening I am in mumbai because my daughter is appearing for law entrance exam tomorrow being conducted by one bangalore based university. She is putting all out efforts to get admission in some good law university. Hope she would be able to get . Kids plan out a lot for shaping career, do lot of hard work in study and pass through lot of hurdles and challenges. Huge efforts are put in by the students to get admission in any good stream and college. But that is not the end, in fact it is beginning of the whole new lot of challenges. Once they get admission in the college then the challenges would be towards getting good ranks and preparing various projects. Then challenges would be get desired placement and so on. Every day new challenges would come in their way and then they would think if this hurdle crossed, no challenge would be in place, but does it happens?

Mumbai is the land of opportunity with about 17 million people earning their livelihood . Every day hundreds of people come here , search the job and try to build career. I remember, the year 1985 (probably 1st July) when I first came to mumbai. I came here from jaipur by train named frontier mail, these days, I don't know what it is called. In those days I was waiting for CA result and when at about 6am landed at Borivali station, it was a feeling of achievement. Lot of local trains shunting, hand lorries from here and there, and suddenly many people jumping into the train. They were struggling to go inside the train even before it stopped. This kind of human behaviour was really amusing. Probably they would be thinking that getting seat is only challenge . Other side I was thinking if I get the job here, life would be smooth, though I got it but that was rather beginning of the challenges.

My relation with Mumbai is like flirting. I came here stayed for some time and went back. Came second time but again had to run back with bad health. Now since last 15 years , I am coming to this wonderful city very often but rarely stay in night. This city has given me a lot professionally and as is said about this city that it never keeps debt of any one. It repays back with much more sooner or later. I am highly obliged with this city.

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Success: Only 10000 Hrs. Away

Friends

Recently I read an article in a book which analysed successful people in depth. The writer mentioned that there is no short cut to success and only shortest route is hard work. The important and surprising analysis he mentioned was that behind the success of every person two major factors worked:

1. An opportunity came in their way and they en cashed it. Unseen forces and circumstances offered them an opportunity.

2. Each and every body put lot of hard work to excel in their fields. He analysed their workings and found that minimum 10000 hrs were sincerely invested by them before tasting the success.

It means that to excel in any field we need to put in minimum 10000 hrs before getting success. It may sound crazy but this is fact. The author analysed the success stories of more than 75 highly successful people around the world.

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Compulsions & Advice

Friends

Compulsions of following the rules, terms and conditions, systems. Should we or should not we? It is always a question in mind what to do about the compulsions in day to day life. Compulsion and discipline both are synonym with each other to some extent. We are bound by the boundaries set by us, by society and it is important too. Any violation in discipline would damage the social system set by us. Compulsion also puts pressure on us to perform the best, dangerous comparison amongst kids and peer ones. In life we are required to follow many things without understanding the reasons. Just do because every one else is doing that. Don't jump to untested waters, don't take risk in life, go slow, save money, focus on saving or reducing expenses and not on increasing income, follow the elders, listen to them, don't argue with them, do whatever they suggest, go where they wish u should, talk whom they feel a better person, make friends whom they feel is better person, listen this music not that, walk like this, wear this, read this so on.... Even we get resistance in venturing any business if the family is not into that. The list of compulsions is infinite and as a social animal every one follows them. It is presented as discipline and edified strongly. Every thing is feed ed in our mind, our culture, religion, caste, creed, regionalism and so on. We are tuned to believe that we are best amongst all human beings and every one else is lower than us mainly because of his religion, caste or creed. We tune our mind to judge a person from his region, religion, caste etc. Those who defy the compulsions give the world new ideas, new comforts, new religion, new culture, new vision. Those who follow these compulsions, so called discipline, only maintain the status quo. Those who try to move out of the compulsions set by the society are always first discarded, put to severe tests before they emerge hero or icon.

Another issue is the seeking advice. In most of the cases, it is noticed that people get advice from those who don't have it. Our neighbour is the best advisor for anything happening in the world. You got sick and we would knock the door of every one except doctor. You want to become pilot but except pilot every one else would guide us how to do that or whether to do or not. What is good or what is bad for us is always guided by those who themselves are not into that field. Which business is doing well these days, and which are not. Every body would give us analysis at macro and micro level. Unfortunately none of them would be in this field.

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37500 Hrs. Only

Friends

An human generally lives in present days for about 80 years. It seems a good long period but just analyse and then let me know how big it is:

80 years are only 29200 days or 7 lacs hours. Out of these first 25 yrs and last 10 yrs a person does not earn. Hence only 16425 days or less than 4 lac hours. In this period we struggle , settle, marry, perform social responsibilities and so on... We earn, save for various situations and all. Many days are wasted towards holidays, social functions, illness and so on.... Believe me we don't have more than 5000 days (not nights even) to do anything constructive and for betterment of our self, family and society. I would also like to mention here that for most of the readers of this blog more than 25% of this time is gone already. On an average we don't have more than 3750 days or 90000 hrs. With in this period we would sleep, travel and all. Even if we don't consider holidays, leave etc; and only consider the working of 10 hrs per day it is only 37500 hrs. Where is the time for fight, revenge, zealousness, cheating, hurting etc. because first you do these things and then repent and then compromise and all. Better not to do such things.

Nothing remains to leave for tomorrow. That is why it is said very rightly "Kaal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so abh, pal mai pralay hoyegi bhahuri karego kab."

In my view 37500 hrs is nothing friends, don't waste, it is very very precious.

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THE SECRET

Friends

I am reading "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. A very popular book about the secret of success. The book is wonderful collection of the comments by various renowned people . "The secret as per book is that you would get whatever you wish provided you desire, visualise, believe that you have it and finally you would get. It explains that the desire sends the signals in the universe and all the powers of the universe then start working in favour of making available to you. There is a power of attraction and that brings in the desired things. "

I do agree with this theory and believe that to get something in life we have to first desire and once we desire the attraction power of the universe would do every thing to make it available to us any how. Many times we desire to talk some old friend or relative and suddenly he is in front of us. This is not a coincidence, it the power of universe which always acts as per the message relayed by our mind. If this is so, we can achieve anything we wish by following this principle.

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SOUL MATES

Friends

In general terms soul mates are either spouse or lover. Recently in a leading newspaper Times of India, an article was published about soul mates. It mentioned many instances about the soul mates, their reactions when they met first time and the spark it generated.

It is very interesting to know about the soul mates. There may be few lucky persons who could reach to soul mates in their lifetime. It means every soul has soul mate and irrespective to the happy and contended life the soul mate may be a different person. As per the report, whenever one meets his/her soul mate, a different feeling would spark amongst both the persons. Soul mates share a great telepathy and deep bonding and share the same life experiences in diverse environment. One of the important point mentioned in the report was that they have their own communication even if others find it difficult to comprehend.

As per the report soul mates rarely meet due to unknown locations, age, caste creed etc. but once one find and meets soul mate they would remain in touch with her till the end of life . The paper quoted “We like to romanticise the concept of a soul mate as only one’s spouse or lover. But the soul has seven multiple births and you can share more than one soul mate in a life time. It could be any one with whom you share a deep bonding, bordering on telepathy.” It further quotes “It is the playing out of a karmic connection. Sometimes, recognizing your soul mate takes a fleeting second. At others, it may take years and numerous complications.” It also clarifies “Twin souls are fragments of the same soul who inhabit two different bodies and encounter similar life experiences in diverse environments till they merge, before retiring to the spiritual realm.”

I wish you share your views on this topic. There is lot to write about soul mates but may be some other time.

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Friends

I have mentioned many times in the past that god gives us some relations by birth but certain relations are gifted afterwords through various routes i.e. social, professional or locational. I agree that the relations created with birth are very strong, helpful and long lasting, but certain relations which are developed afterwords during the course of journey become more closer to us. In fact some of the relatives matures as friend too and have more long lasting relationship.

One such relative of mine is Kamlesh(brother in law) who is like my younger brother and a very good friend. In last more than two decades he has always been supportive to me and my family. Today is his birthday and I wish a very happy birthday to him. May god bless him long, healthy, wealthy and happy life.

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