Friends
Two quotes came into my mind :
1. "You will waste a lot less time worrying about what others think of you if only you realized how seldom they do." That is why we can say that:
2. "To be happy one must not be too concerned with the opinion of others. One should pursue one's goals single mindedly, with a quiet confidence , without thinking of others."
Most of the time we worry about others be it social, professional or personal matter. We loose focus on our goal and try to behave what others wish. In the process we lost every where. Socially, in Hindu tradition we spend under the pressure to remain one up in society despite the fact that such spending is beyond capacity and also of no use. To impress the society we stretch ourselves to such an extent that it adversely affect the financial health. I have seen in villages , poor farmers are forced to spend much beyond their capacity on the occasion of marriage or post death rituals. One such occasion push them under heavy borrowing from mahajans. Also in educated , upper caste also the spending in marriages go much beyond the capacity and brings the borrowing pressure for a long time.
Professionally our behaviour is always to show off the others. The show off does not allow a professional to do the assignments of so called lower levels. He wants to do but just because of fear of "what others would think about him", he does not. This kind of thinking process closes the opportunity doors.
On personal front, I have noticed such things mainly in cases of personality development. When we do not adopt new technology or update ourselves regularly, later on we repent it and feel shy. Not only this, such technologies influence life so much that we can not afford to keep away and any delay in adoption/updation causes frustration and shyness. We don't show the world about our ignorance and start criticising the value of such technologies. We should understand the fact that there is nothing called delay or late. Knowledge is continuous flow and can be adopted/learnt at any stage of age. It is our own feeling about what people would think about us. If we can get rid of this thought, the life would be much easier and successful.
CP

Friends
I had mentioned some comments on relations in my recent blog. To explain it further, I wish to share some more views on this topic. In present educated society where the families are shrinking and migrating, the value of friends, colleagues and neighbours have multiplied many times. They are the first to help you in time of need. When we move to new and unknown locations, the social relatives are almost absent there and we have to build the relationship a fresh through references, friends, colleagues, peers, business associates, community associations etc. The relationship so created is mostly a live relationship and becomes stronger day by day. Such relations may not be through the blood relatives or any traditional relatives but always play role better than blood relatives. Also in many situations, some relatives may be called distant one due the distance in family tree, but they are more closer practically due to better interactions and understandings. The importance of such relatives is always more than the one who are close as per family tree but not close by way of interactions and understandings.
In this pretext, I was opining that in present world the relations should be measured by the closeness in understandings and interactions and not only by the family tree.
CP

Friends
Back to Ahmedabad after hectic trip of Rajasthan. It is always fun to visit the native place and interact with relatives. More fun if it is some function like marriage. The memories of childhood, family relatives, old friends all give exciting feelings. I met one of my college friend after 28 years.
When we meet some one after gap of 20-30 years, we notice lot of change in face and body structure, voice and maturity but still there is some thing intact (intimacy) which keeps the relationship alive. When analysing the past, we arrive at the conclusion that despite the best efforts in life, we all are at the same level from where we moved on. What has changed is some economic status, some addition in family, grown kids, some specs, either baldness or grey hairs. Life moves on with all these addition deletions.
One particular thing I noticed in my native is that people there are too much surrounded by the relatives. This does not leave any space for friends and hence the parameters of status of a family are decided by the number of relatives. In present world relatives are scattered. In many cases I noticed the infighting between relatives over money, properties or ego clashes.They don't talk to each other or very friendly but the social fabric is so strong/thick that people don't look beyond the relatives. In the process they can not build strong relationship through friendship and hence end up with very slow progress. I believe the relationship created, or rather gifted, by being in social relations are mostly pulled on by compulsions and not of choice. such relations always give heart burn and create distances. Where as a person can build better and stronger relationship out side the blood/social relations. A good and supporting person may be distant relative socially but he may be close friend. In society such persons are always considered as distant relative with long distance. On other side a close relative may be of no value practically but just because he is in close relation, he gets due credit.
CP

Friends
Nikita has completed 20 years today. Me and all the family members wish her a very happy birthday and pray to god to bless her long, healthy, wealthy and happy life ahead. May God fulfill her all her wishes and dreams. It is great feeling to see the kids growing and handling the life independently. She is studying in Bangalore since last two years and has proved beyond doubt her capability to handle the day to day issues on her own and also to excel in the study. What else can the parents expect from the kids of this age. She has come out of the shell of parents and has full of confidence. She dreams beyond the dreams which sometimes look impractical but I know with the efforts and focus on her dreams she is going to achieve them soon.
The absence of the kids on their birthday generates heart burn but the feeling of their efforts to shape the career heals the same.
cp

Friends
Money in foreign bank is hot issue these days. The perception is that some rich people have parked the funds out side the country and evaded tax on such money. Most of the developing countries have this problem. Public, Media, Politicians, all are cursing such businessmen fraternity for this. Every day Newspapers are full of analysis to arrive at the total money lying outside and if brought into the country how much it would benefit the nation. One way is to bring this money by forfeiting and other is to create a situation where the funds are automatically brought into he country. Major reasons for keeping money outside the country in safe heavens are Higher Taxation, Hiding money from the society and Safety of the money.
i. Tax rates are still very high in developing countries and this forces the people not to disclose the income and keep it outside the country. If the tax rates are reduced to 10%-15%, people would not hesitate to disclose the income. Singapore has 17% tax rate only.
ii. The social fabric in our country also forces the people to hide income. Those who create wealth show it gradually to escape the expectations from the society. Not only this the zealousness and family disputes and social demands also prompts the people to hide the income. The fear of sharing the wealth with family relatives is one of the important cause of hiding. It is fact that the biggest enemy and friend are always from the family.
iii. The fear of politicians, mafias, Bureaucrats, Government machinery also forces to hide the money. In most of the cases they would act against the person possessing and showing the wealth. It may be disaster for such person to disclose the wealth.

The perception that this money can be brought in and fully transferred to the Government is absolutely impractical and wrong. Unless we create good atmosphere in the country, better investment opportunities and very low tax rates, social and government safety for wealthy people, the money would remain out of the country and would be continuously used by the developed nations where such money is parked. We need to think differently if we wish to become developed country soon. We need to give full respect to wealthy people to get their support for the upliftment of society. There is nothing free in this world and no body is going to serve without consideration (money, status, respect, popularity, name, fame). There is lot to talk about this, may be later.
CP

Friends
Last seven days were very social for me. The activities on social front were very hectic but quite enjoyable. Whenever the opportunity of being together with the near and dear ones comes, it always gives lot of happiness. Being away from the native place, such opportunities are rare. Although the purpose of such get together may be different (Marriage, Health issues, social functions, etc.), but still the opportunity to connect with the roots is highly valuable. I got such opportunity in last 3-4 days. The reason was that my uncle in law is in the City to get the knee treatment. With god's grace he is fine now.
We get inspiration from God and People and try to follow their steps for better life. while reading a book I noticed that some of the most respected persons and Gods have also done blunder in their life. Couple of examples are :
1. Bheeshma Pitamah ( Devavrat) took away forcefully three daughters (Ambaa, Ambika & Ambalika) of Kaashee's king Kaashee Raaj from swayamvar for marrying his cousin Vichitraveerya ( Shantanu & satyavatee's son), the king of Hastinaapur. No body could dare to stop him. Later Ambaa took the birth as shikhandi who was instrumental in killing Bhishma Pitamah).
2. When Draupadi was being brought to the court by dushasan forcefully, Bheeshm Pitamah was also there and he was silent spectator. In his presence Dushasan was removing her saree. This was the turning point in Mahabharat.
3. Lord Ram sent his pregnant wife Sita to jungle just because a washerman in Ayodhya had raised doubt on her sanctity. This spoiled the personal life of Lord Ram.
4. Current Prime Minister of our country is renowned for his honesty but the silence on his part in last two years has made him party to the most corrupt Government post independence. Silence has taken him to other side.

There may be many such incidences which contradicts the image of highly respected and worshiped personalities. I don't know, what were the situations and circumstances at that time but apparently these appear mistakes which proved turning point in the history.
CP